Back in, like, junior high, I used to pass notes with this girl. After reading the very first note I ever got from her, I was like, “huh, she doesn’t use contractions, ever.” We “dated” in little ways on and off for a couple years. We are both married now, but every time I see her or someone mentions her, I always think, “I wonder if she uses contractions now…” and nothing else. Is that weird?